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Don’t Drink the Water

I’m sure there must be something in it. Some form of aphrodisiac that is causing couples to create babies. We’re not talking about one or two mild cases here, people. We’re talking about a full-fledged epidemic! They’re everywhere. If these women aren’t giving birth in the next few months, just you wait. Another six months and there will be a whole new round of deliveries. Goodness.

Why am I even discussing this? Maybe I’m just tired. Maybe due to the absence of my husband tonight, I have too much time to think. Regardless, after being married for 2 1/2 years, the standard next step is baby-making. Yeah…..about that…..

There’s this outside pressure to have a kid by now. Couples we know who got married right around the same time we did are getting knocked up. Yes, I’m using that term. Deal with it. So shouldn’t we? Are we like those kids who are held back in grade school because we just aren’t ready to advance to the next level?

Probably. Oh well. It’s not happening. I am not going to walk down the aisle for graduation on May 7, 2011 with a baby causing my belly to expand. Besides, how the heck could I accomplish cosmetology school and stand on my feet all day if I’m big and prego? That’s what I keep telling myself anyway to fight off the baby-making fever that going around.

So no, I’m not going to drink the water. Don’t offer it to me. Don’t ask when we’re going to have kids. I might just tell you “never” because I feel like it. Yup, I’m going to play the part of the child who got held back by being as childish as I want.

Just felt like sharing.


A Lack of Creativity

So I’ve been pondering what to write about today. I could tell you that my cold is almost gone (YAY!), or that I’m still struggling to figure out my place in the church volunteer realm, or that Chris took me to Palace Pizza today because he loves me, or about all the blogs I’ve been reading about, or even about all the housework I’ve accomplished today. I could talk about anything of those at great length.

But I’m not.

Instead, I’m going to tell you about how I can’t seem to write more than a few sentences whenever I attempt any piece of fictional writing. I have three drafts of three different stories that just cause me to wrinkle my nose when I look at them. I’m at a loss. The fictional juices have dried up and I’m not sure how to make them come back. I miss writing fiction. I miss learning about my characters as I create them. I miss the blending of fact and fiction within my stories that allows me to release some type of bottled up emotion. I guess maybe it’s a good thing I’m having trouble tapping into that bottled up emotion. That means I’m letting go of my emotions instead of pushing them down and pretending like they don’t exist. One problem, though: I WANT TO WRITE FICTION. Ugh.

Thus is my problem that appears unsolvable at this moment.

Goodnight, good and faithful readers. I’m going to go dream up characters that I cannot seem to put into words.

100 Things

I borrowed this from another blog that I’ve started reading regularly known as “A Babbling Brunette”. She’s a wonderful writer and inspires me to do my absolute best to blog more often. I can’t say if it’ll stick or not, but I’m trying. No promises this month, though, because most of it will be spent in the snowy tundra of Minnesota with my family.

Anyway, here’s a list of 100 things about me:

1. The fact that I am already 24 has recently hit me and I am determined to make sure my next 24 years are even more adventure-filled than the first 24.

2. I’m an English major and a Biblical Studies minor. I will finally graduate in May 2011 with my bachelor’s degree from WU!!!!

3. I’m the oldest of 5 children, with my youngest sister being almost 8.

4. I love bright colors more than words can express.

5. My husband is my biggest cheerleader and I don’t know where I would be without him. I’m exceptionally proud of him.

6. What Not to Wear is my secret pleasure. I love watching people learn what fits their body style and seeing their self-esteem rise.

7. Christmas is amazing! I love the decorations, the giving of gifts, the spending time with family, the food, and the MN snow.

8. I don’t like a ton of chocolate. I know, I know. I like it in moderation, with just a smidge here and there.

9. Jane Austen holds the slot as my favorite writer of all time.

10. I hate doing dishes and folding laundry.

11. I find cooking to be enjoyable and would love to host dinner parties on a regular basis if time and money were not an option.

12. In July 2011, I will go on my very first mission trip to Honduras with Trash Mountain Project. Look them up. They’re amazing!

13. I love being crafty, especially with gifts, but I’m always nervous that the person won’t like it. Always.

14. I have the cutest niece EVER. Don’t even try to compare. You won’t win. She’s too cute.

15. I love the beach. The sand between my toes, the salt water smell in the air, the sun beating down on my tummy…it’s all heavenly. God would lounge at the beach I go to as well. I just know it.

16. Apple Cider was the best drink ever created during Fall.

17. My pinkie toes curl to the point where they look like someone chopped them in half.

18. Hugh Jackman is yummy. It’s ok. Chris knows. He understands.

19. I lived in Montana most of my life. I miss the mountains desperately, and the lack of humidity.

20. I hated high school. I was an awkward teenager with no style or sense. I’ve grown up a lot since then. I don’t really talk to anyone from high school either even though I go back there every year at Christmas to visit my family.

21. I have a very small window of comfort in the temperature department. I’m almost always cold, but can very quickly get too hot.

22. Palace Pizza in Bartow is scrumptious.

23. I have a fear of stickers. It’s irrational and weird, but don’t ever give me a sticker. We might stop being friends if you do. I’m serious.

24. Edy’s Cookie Dough Ice Cream is my favorite. I also love Vanilla Bean Ice Cream with chocolate syrup and lots of sprinkles.

25. I enjoy taking two pieces of fleece, laying them on top of one another, cutting the edges into strips and tying them in knots to make a blanket. I’ve probably made a total of 15 in the 7 years I’ve been making them. No, I don’t keep them all.

16. I love being married. I hated single life. It was lonely.

17. I’ve been lonely for the last 3 years. I mean miserably lonely. God just answered my prayers 3 months ago in the form of a friend.

18. I’m three years sober from cutting. I did it for 5 years before that. This has been an eight year struggle, but I’m going to make it.

19. I cannot wait to go to cosmetology school! I want to learn it all and then be able to do it all. It’s been my dream for a while, but I wanted to finish my bachelor’s degree first.

20. Chick-fil-a is super yummy. I love it.

21. Up until last month, I had three name options for our kids that don’t exist yet. Now, I’m back at the drawing board.

22. I’m super organized in school and when I was working, but at home, I have a tendency to be messy.

23. I love to sleep!

24. Our wedding colors were pink and blue. It was a beautiful July wedding. If I could do it over, I would move it to the beach.

25. I love writing, in case you hadn’t figured that out. Chris says I should write a book. I just don’t think I’m talented enough to pull it off.

26. With the multitude of women giving birth or getting pregnant at our church, I feel pressure to do the same. I know that it’s silly, but I feel like we should be reaching that stage of marriage too after 2 1/2 years, but that’s not the case. We are far from ready.

27. When I read other blogs, I feel like mine doesn’t meet the par and that I really have no idea what the heck I’m doing.

28. I need to stay off Facebook more. It’s quite an addictive distraction.

29. Milky Way is my favorite chocolate candy. Skittles are my favorite fruity candy.

30. I would love to lose 5-10 pounds, but I don’t seem to have to time or perseverance to pursue exercise on a regular basis.

31. I love my dog. He’s adorable.

32. My MacBook computer is awesome. I love it. It was the best birthday present I could’ve gotten 2 years ago. I’m not an Apple fanatic, though. I just love my computer.

33. Hypocritical people get under my skin more than anyone else.

34. I’m awfully clumsy in heels and prefer ballet flats.

35. My wedding ring is a size 4.75, which is pretty small. I have dainty, girly hands.

36. I’m a coffee addict. I’m hoping when I run out of coffee that instead of buying more, I can wean myself off of it. I hate being so attached it something.

37. I don’t really like talking on the phone that much. It loses its thrill quickly.

38. I will fight to the death for those I care about, but let people walk all over me without defending myself.

39. I don’t know how to swim.

40. I love hot showers on cold days when the bathroom is completely full of steam.

41. I’ve been getting migraines lately a few times a month. I’m on the verge of worrying about it.

42. I worry. A LOT. Jesus and I are working on that.

43. I have a teddy bear from when I was 2 named Sleepy Bear. If Chris is gone, I snuggle Sleepy Bear instead.

44. I’m nervous about what God might be calling me to do with my life.

45. One day, I want to go back to France with Chris and experience it all over again with the man I adore.

46. Despite how much I hate the snow after long periods of time, I love having a white Christmas.

47. My nephew is going to be a heartbreaker one day. He may only be two, but he’s a charmer already.

48. I’ve never gotten a ticket from a police officer.

49. I’ve been to more concerts in the last 2 years than I did in the 22 years before that.

50. Taking Back Sunday and Audio Adrenaline are my favorite bands of all time. Flyleaf is pretty amazing too.

51. I love gerber daisies and hate the smell of roses. I don’t know why. I think roses smell icky.

52. When a plan goes array, I get stressed. I don’t adjust well to new plans. I’m working on that.

53. I don’t like Chili’s. Their menu is mediocre at best. Just sayin.

54. I suck at doing daily devotionals. I keep trying, but I’m not sure if I’ll ever get it right.

55. I love my Family Group, as you can tell from a previous post.

56. I’m really paranoid I’m going to say the same thing twice on this list. I keep worrying that I’ve already done it.

57. I’ve never been to a bar, and don’t really plan on going to one. It’s not really my scene.

58. I rarely remember my dreams after an hour of being awake.

59. I miss acrylic nails and I hope to have them again one day.

60. My heart’s too big. It breaks at the slightest thing and I truly wish I could solve the world’s problems. If someone I love is hurting, so am I. I can’t help it. Sometimes I wish I was stronger.

61. Blogging has been a wonderful use of my writing skills and my ability to be transparent.

62. I want to adopt some kids one day…and have some of my own too.

63. I hate being sick. Plus, I’m not a very nice sick person.

64. Sometimes when I sneeze, I pee a little. I don’t mean too. It just happens. And yes, it’s terribly, terribly embarrassing.

65. I have trouble studying for final exams. I feel as though if I don’t know it by the end of the semester, I’m not going to be able to cram it into my brain.

66. I love listening to music and singing to it in the car. Yes, I’m that weird person next to you at the red light singing her lungs out.

67. I want to go to a Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir concert one day. I think it would be a life-changing experience.

68. I want to go see Wicked on Broadway in New York…or Tampa.

69. Shoes and purses are my guilty pleasure. I buy them all the time when I have extra money.

70. I feel guilty for not working and only going taking classes at Warner.

71. I feel guilty about almost everything. Always.

72. I wish I could leave the Christmas tree up all year round and decorate it for every holiday.

73. I loooooooove MarioKart on Wii. It’s so much fun! Well, that is as long as I don’t play my brother-in-law. He’s too good at it.

74. Fruit Ninja on the iPhone/iPod touch is amazing! I borrow Jamison’s phone all the time so i can play it, and Wade downloaded it just so I could play it Sunday night while I was sick. 🙂

75. I love that Chris opens all the doors for me. I feel like such a lady.

76. I always wanted to wear one of those dresses from the Civil War era, like in “Gone With the Wind” with all the petticoats and things. I’m sure they were hard to walk in, but they’re so pretty!

77. I text all the time. I prefer it to talking on the phone.

78. I’m running out of ideas for this thing, so bear with me.

79. I’ve never sold a textbook back to the college. I’ve either kept them or given them to someone else.

80. I’m uber self-conscious. I wish I wasn’t.

81. I try to do something drastically different every time I get my hair done so that when I have clientele that do that, I can come up with ideas for them better.

82. I should be studying right now.

83. Oreos are only yummy if there is milk to dip them in and they are double-stuffed Oreos.

84. I moved to Florida five and a half years ago to go to college. I’m thankful I did because I met Chris and fell in love.

85. I wish I knew what was going to happen next in our lives. I hate the uncertainty of not knowing.

86. I’m scared I won’t be any good at cosmetology and that I’ve been dreaming about it for the last 3 years for nothing.

87. Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia is my favorite flavor of theirs.

88. My eyes hate makeup on them so I’m forced to go without. I hope to go to an eye doctor at some point and see what can be done. I’d like to at least have to option to wear it.

89. If I don’t eat, I’m crabby.

90. I love my Palm Pre Plus phone. It’s my very first smartphone, and I’m glad it is.

91. I love wearing bright colored ankle socks. They’re just so lively!

92. I really can’t believe I’ve said this much about myself. I’m feeling a little egotistical. Sorry if I’m coming across that way.

93. I take that back. I’m not sorry. It’s my blog. I can talk about me and it’s ok.

94. I wish my straight hair would have a little more “oomph” to it. It doesn’t like to do much of anything without a ton of product in it.

95. I loved my spiral-curly hair for my wedding.

96. I add hot chocolate mix to my coffee and french vanilla creamer.

97. I hate confrontation…which I forgot how to spell and how to use spellcheck. Yup. I did that.

98. I’m terribly shy in big crowds.

99. I don’t really eat leftovers. I’ve had to retrain myself in that department.

100. I feel inadequate in bible classes because I feel as though I don’t know very much about the Bible.

And I’m done! Enjoy all the notes about me!

How to…

…wake up a soul. It’s not as easy as it might sound. You can’t use any of the normal, obvious ways:

1. You can’t pour cold water over its head. It doesn’t like that very much, and doesn’t feel the temperature of the water very well.

2. You can’t bang a pot in its ear while yelling, “IT’S TIME TO GET UP!!!!!!!!!!!!” I’m afraid this proves to be just as ineffective.

3. There is no little sibling to send in to jump on the bed….a dog doesn’t work either. The enthusiastic licking of the face is meaningless to the soul

4. Fanning a giant pile of pancakes under its nose may tempt the person housing the soul, but the soul will simply roll over and continue napping. The smell of coffee won’t work either.

5. Stomping around on the floor around the bed or even shaking the bed will not suffice either, I’m afraid.

Alas, then, how does one awake the soul? I wish I had an answer for you. It takes time and nurturing, or at least mine does. It prefers to wake up on its own terms, but sometimes it’ll startle you when it does finally say “Good morning” because it comes out in more like a peppy cheerleader than a sleepy toddler. Either way, enjoy it while it’s awake, because life’s much darker when it’s sleeping.

In Honor and Memory…

I didn’t know Cassi very well. I saw her once a week for a semester as we met in Dr. Sanders’ office for class. It was just the two of us in our “Spiritual Practices” class. I remember being nervous. I always get nervous when I meet new people. I clam up and can’t say a darn thing that sounds intelligent. I wish I could. I wish it would pour out of me like a normal person. She seemed like the person who was friends with everyone she met. Her faith in God was stronger than mine had ever been; I envied that in her. I could only dream of a faith that strong and secure.

Cassi died in June 2010. It was a rare issue. I don’t even know all the details. Good ol’ Facebook helped to fill in some of the gaps. The point was she was only 20 years old. She didn’t eve get to see her 21st birthday. Her death, as tragic as it was, left an imprint so big that the Warner University campus has still not recovered from it. Suddenly, this Christian based campus is asking the hard questions of “why, God, why? Why her? Why now?” We’re forced to wrestle with the unanswerable and deal with the silence; but God is working. There’s a Brooklyn Tabernacle song entitled “God is working”. It’s a beautiful piece of lyrical mastery. It’s also a simple truth that speaks volumes.

I only knew her truly for a semester. She said “hi” every time she saw me. I still think of her whenever I pass by the Ministry building. She left an imprint on my soul. I want to develop her faith. I wish we would’ve had time to sit and talk about it; I wish she had more time, for her sake and others; I wish I could help those hurting more than me. Instead, I pray. I ask God to help me honor her memory through my own faith and never forget her. I don’t ever want to forget her, even though I barely knew her.

A Little Piece of Board Game Magic…

Monopoly. Sorry. Imaginiff. Cranium. Clue. Twister. Battle of the Sexes. Life. These games say more about life than most inanimate objects we come across on a day-to-day basis.

Monopoly. The game of fiscal responsibility. If you don’t manage your finances properly, the bank will own everything. Though, I’m still wondering where I can find the “Go” space so I can keep collecting $200 every time I pass it.

Sorry. The game where you learn to knock people out of your way to succeed. It teaches us that life is all about getting ahead and never let anyone knock you out of your spot if you can help it.

Imaginiff. The game that forces people to make snap judgments about you. Imaginiff Megan was a crayon, which would she be? Ah, yes, tickle me pink. It is my favorite color, and most people know that. It’s a game full of laughs and people take your traits and quirks to find a suitable label for you out of six different choices.

Cranium. The game of random knowledge and skill. Life is all about using your brain and this game helps get you there. It also teaches you to know your Dr. Seuss’ rhymes because you might just get the question that asks you to finish this statement: “One fish, two fish, ……”

Clue. The game of intrigue and mystery. It was totally Professor Plum in the library with the candlestick. Through your miscellaneous grouping of cards and deductive reasoning, you must solve a murder and practice your problem solving skills. They are essential to survival in the real world.

Twister. The game of balance and coordination…but if you’re like me, you fall by the third rotation of the spinner. Sometimes in the adult world, you’re stuck with your feet a million miles apart and one hand on yellow, while the other is in the air trying not to touch the ground and balance seems nearly impossible. Those are times it’s good to have faith in something and friends/family nearby to help hold you up (though if they do that in the game, you’re disqualified. Sorry).

Battle of the Sexes. The game of men versus women. Who’s better? Who knows more about the other sex? Who is really more dominant? Honestly, I think genders need to work together instead of trying to figure out who’s better. If we worked together instead of fighting, we might actually accomplish a whole lot more.

Life. Ah, yes. The game that allows you to pick three cards and then pick the best one. You randomly are assigned kids and lottery winnings. Sometimes you even get to run for mayor. If only life were really as easy as the game. Sure, sometimes the basement floods, but just turn the spinner and escape the damage.

Board games. The famous pastime of American families. I loved them as a child, and still love them today. The more I play them, though, the more I realize that if I’m not careful, my life will just become a board game…it might even be more of a “bored” game. Sorry, I had to throw the pun in there. Life is all about the surprising twists and turns no one expects and the random tidbits of knowledge that one of my children might ask me about one day. That’s the fun part. We can’t see the end of the game in real life, but if we could, would we still make the most of each day or procrastinate until the end and wonder how did life pass us by?

Late Night Ramblings by Little Ol’ Me

Soooooo…….it’s 11:03 p.m. I should be winding down for the evening. I’m getting there. It’s been an event-filled day and I guess my second – or third – wind has kicked in, and I have been sitting here on my comfy couch next to my very sleepy puppy contemplating. What have been absentmindedly thinking about, you ask? Well, I guess I can share, though please accept the vagueness in some areas. I am thinking about:

  • The amazing day we had with Chris’ best friend John and his fiancee Jessica! It was great to finally meet her (after a year and three months of dating!). They are a great couple to spend time with and I truly wish they lived closer than 3 hours away.
  • My hopes and desires. This is one of those vague ideas. I’ve been trying to figure out if I’m yearning for the right things or if I just keep setting myself up for disappointment.
  • I am eager to attend RPC’s first church-wide picnic instead of a church service. It should be a wonderful experienced filled with food, fun, and community.
  • I wish October 30th could get here a little quicker! Chris and I are doing a photo shoot with  our dear friend Tara Bent. She’s uber talented and creative! I have been looking forward to that day for months now. Chris and I are doing it to celebrate our two year wedding anniversary a few months late, but we had to properly save up for it all and I wanted to wait until the cooler weather anyway.
  • My dog might just be my best friend. Though he never talks back, he is an amazing listener who loves to play and go on long walks with me down the road. I love that little booger.
  • I’ve been wondering about that word “friendship” and what it really means to me and others. It’s an interesting word that gets about as overused as “love”.
  • I love my husband more today than when I married him. Chris cherishes me in so many ways, and I work hard to make sure he feels the same way. He’s an amazing, godly man who deserves as much respect as I can muster. He’s my rock and provider…well, after God, anyway. 🙂

Well, that’s all for now. All this typing has helped make me a bit sleepy which is great. I need to get a little rest so I can take on tomorrow.

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