That is what I want from 2011. I want it to be EPIC. I want it to be so jam-packed full of epicness that I don’t even know how to handle it all. Yes, I made that word up. Do I care? No.
I’ve spent a lot of my life playing it safe and not taking risks. Don’t get me wrong, some risks are just stupid to take. I will not jump out of an airplane. Skydiving is NOT on my agenda under the title of “Epic”.
I have always been scared to fail. Failure terrifies me. It stunts my growth as a person and causes me to stand stalk still when I should be moving forward. I am perfectly aware of this fault, and yet I have not seemed to surpass it. It eats at me. It haunts my dreams. It tries to make me eat the lima beans of life – bland nothingness. Ick.
My mantra for this year: “Even the failed pieces are essential.” This particular quote came from Rob Bell’s book Drops Like Stars. That sentence stole my breath the second my mind grasped its meaning. Failure is not always a bad thing. Sometimes it molds me into the person I have become or the person I need to be.
A lot is going to happen this year. To name a few:
May 2011 – On the 7th, I will graduate from WU with my bachelor’s!!!!!! (I know, finally!)
July 2011 – For one week, hubs and I are going with a team from our church to build houses in Honduras with Trash Mountain Project. Look them up. They’re pretty legit.
September 2011 – I will embark on a whole new journey known as cosmetology school. I haven’t decided where yet and I’m scared to death to even go at all. I don’t want to spend all this money on school and fail at it – which is why I have coined the aforementioned mantra. I’m going to do this. I need to try. I truly believe this is what God created me to do, but there is always the smallest smidgeon of doubt because I don’t want to fail.
So there it is, my dearest readers. My heart is bare. If you are the praying type, pray for wisdom and strength for me. If you aren’t, well then that’s ok too.