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Archive for April, 2010

This Upcoming Event-Filled Weekend…

So I’ll admit this post seems a bit trivial but I feel the desire to write it anyway, so here it goes.

My weekend is going to be full of excitement and hopefully I will fit a little “relaxation” time in there too.

Friday: Casey (our beautiful 6 month old bichon frise puppy) got his very first real grown-up dog haircut. I’m so proud! During those two hours Chris and I were able to go on a lunch date thanks to some free meals at Firehouse. (The perks of being married to the pizza delivery guy). Then we went to Lowe’s to look at paint for our apartment and finally, we made a pit stop at Walmart where my darling husband replaced my windshield wipers. Then we picked up Casey and came home. Chris is off at work but I am making dinner tonight that will consist of Sloppy Joe’s and baked beans. Woo hoo!

Saturday: We will wake up and play with Casey for a few hours before heading out with the droves of people that decide to do their grocery shopping at Walmart on a Saturday morning. We will then return home, feed Casey lunch (along with ourselves), and then head back out to search for a pair of hair clippers so I can cut Chris’ hair. The big event of tomorrow will be….drum roll….at 3:00 pm…..I will finally be getting my tattoo that I have been planning for about 2 years now! YAY! I’m nervous but excited all at the same time. This is the one I talked about in an earlier blog about the word “love” on my wrist. I’m nervous because it’ll be visible and I can’t ever take it off, but it will be a great visible reminder of God’s love for me and the love I need to have for myself. The day will end with me making all the food for our lunch on Sunday.

Sunday: MR. WADE GUNN’S BIRTHDAY! Since we can’t do a whole lot, I’ve opted to make him a lunch of his choice. He chose herb-encrusted pork loin, homemade mac n cheese, scalloped potatoes, and a homemade ice cream cake for dessert. Before we can eat though, we’re headed down to Sebring because Chris is preaching down there for three more weeks at his dad’s church as a fill-in speaker. He’s really been enjoying it so far! We’ll miss being at RPC but they’ll survive without us. Sunday night we’ll head over the Gawlowicz’s house for Sunday Suppers with all the cool college kids. We might just have to bring Casey along to show off his new haircut.

Somewhere in this jam-packed weekend, I will find time to do homework and relax. I don’t know where, but I’ll figure it out later. Thanks for reading! It was fun to be trivial and not so heavy for once.

Positive Thoughts

“…and she always faces tomorrow with a smile. When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say, and she always says it kindly.” Proverbs 31 – The Message

I have never been one to believe that when a person randomly thinks of a verse from the Bible that it is meant to truly inspire them. I’m a skeptic of sorts. I know that person truly believes it is a message from God, but I have a little more hesitancy. I might change my mind though.

I’ve spent most of this week in heavy debate over whether a decision I am trying to make has pass or fail consequences, or even right or wrong answers. It is a decision I have been wrestling with for about two years now and here I am, with a deadline in place, still wrestling. Stupid brain for not shutting off. Ugh. I just want to get past my fears of regrets and my fear of hurting others’ feelings, and make a decision that is right for me, in this exact moment in time. This decision affects me and only me. No one else. Then why, oh why, am I still wrestling with it? WHY?

I’ll tell you why. BECAUSE I AM A PERFECTIONIST. A stupid, stubborn perfectionist who does not want to disappoint anyone, does not want to be judged as someone with poor character, and does not want to disappoint God. My perfectionism is killing my joy. My joy has slowly been dying and I am just now realizing it. This is my last-ditch effort to save it. I have to save it. It can’t die. I can’t be that joyless person.

Which leads me to the verses from the beginning. A woman of God faces the future with a grin. She’s satisfied with her decisions and she’s ready to answer to God without shame or regret. She’s joyful. She’s so focused on God that everything falls into place. It’s a beautiful picture. Absolutely wonderful.

That’s what I want. That will save my joy. I can do that…I think. I just need to learn to accept my decisions and not assume I am making the wrong choice. Life is not so black and white. There’s a lot more gray in there than I thought there was. I just need to let myself off the hook and allow myself the opportunity to make some mistakes, because at the end of the day, isn’t that what life is all about?

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